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You Mean, Taking Care of Myself IS Taking Care of Business?

Today’s post is by my friend and colleague Emilah Dawn DeToro, M.Ed., CPC.  Emilah is an Intuitive Coach who supports women in engaging intuition to make decisions that are more life-serving. She offers women the opportunity to deepen their connection to Source, face their fears and transform their lives.  Often called a midwife to the soul or alchemist, Emilah creates a safe, intimate space where clients can give birth to their own magnificence. More about Emilah at and at her blog

Indulge me a moment as I rattle off some things I’m noticing about myself as I move into 2011:

  • I’m going to the gym regularly, learning to do weights and cardio – a big change from walking and doing yoga (my mainstays for years).
  • I’m eating a gluten-, sugar-, and cow’s dairy-free diet, with ease – a surprising change from the persistent resistance and victimhood that has surrounded this issue for years.
  • I went to the dentist for my annual cleaning (and now I’m booking an appointment for a crown- ugh!)
  • I’m tending to the details of being newly married – insurance, finances, etc.
  • And most surprisingly, I’m facing suppressed anger and resentment towards the man I married in December. Don’t you just love how deepening a commitment to someone triggers the next round of emotional $*(^%*! I digress…

My point is; my attention and actions are going towards my own personal health and wellness. Now granted, I intended this as 2010 came to a close. I said I wanted these things for myself and lo and behold, here they are. You’d think I’d be satisfied, yeah?

But alas, no! My mind is focused on how I am neglecting my coaching practice! My list of “shoulds”:

  • Meet with a marketing consultant or coach to create a marketing strategy and an online presence!
  • Revise my website and merge it with my blog… and speaking of blogs, I should get writing!
  • What happened to the Winter Solstice newsletter I was going to write? Maybe it should be a Welcome to the New Year newsletter? Hop to it!
  • Create a couple of workshops and get them out there for spring!
  • Follow-up with those folks I talked to last fall!

Can you feel the urgency? The comparison to what “other coaches” are doing? The fear of not having enough – money, clients, fancy widgets on my website? Some days it’s been simply overwhelming. So overwhelming that I was frozen and could do nothing to support my personal well-being or my coaching practice.

That’s what fear and self-judgment can do: shut us down.

So, I called a friend (or two or three)! And do you know what? They all suggested the same thing – in a variety of ways, of course.

* What if instead of believing these thoughts, I simply acknowledge their presence?
* What if I keep feeling my feelings and allow action to emerge from that place of deep knowing?
* What if I allow things to be started and completed in their own time, rather than forcing a timeline?
* And finally, what if I make room for the possibility that attending to my body and home life will actually support my coaching practice?

So, I took a deep breath, took their questions to heart, and gave myself permission to do whatever I was guided to do by my deepest knowing. And guess what? I started blogging again! 😉

And then I remembered… Last week, in a session with a client who was working with a similar issue, I acknowledged her for attending to her personal well-being so she could lay the foundation for taking her business to the next level. Note to self: pay attention to the things that come out of my mouth when working with clients; they almost always apply to me too!

Some questions for you to consider…

* Where are you experiencing the internal tug-of-war between what you “know” and what you “should” do??
* How does being in a tug-or-war affect your experience of living?
* What moves you from being shut down to being alive, awake and aware?
* What feelings and knowings are you avoiding? Now that you know you are avoiding them, what are you going to do with that information?
* What actions are you celebrating today because they are aligned with your deepest knowing?


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