I love the coaching session where she gets quiet. It happens only after we’ve been meeting for awhile, and she has unraveled whatever was bunched up inside for us to look at carefully, with loving eyes. She has done the work of owning, claiming and releasing. She begins to inhabit herself in a new way. This is how we set the stage.
Inevitably, after the cobwebs are gone and clarity begins to set in, there comes the part of the process when she gets excited about possibilities, and she goes down the path of “this!” “no, this!” and “ohmygod I can’t believe I didn’t realize this before”. It’s euphoric, this part of self-discovery. But it’s not the real deal. Not yet.
It’s the quiet “yes” that lets me know she’s on the verge of initiating real change.
It’s not a big fist bump, jumping up and down kind of thing. Really, there’s just a nod and a smile that lights her up from the inside.
This is alignment. This is finding a true Yes, and allowing it to have its way with you.
I’d say it’s a mandatory step in the change process. At some point along the journey from “I don’t know” to “Here’s what I want, and here’s how I’m going to make it so”, there’s a subtle internal shift in my clients. It’s as if they morph from eager-superhero-ready-to-change-the-world to a steady, calm presence capable of holding all sorts of possibilities, and prepared to wait until the next right one shows itself, at which point they simply turn toward it.
They don’t need to know specific details at this point, just the general direction. They step firmly into their certainty without fanfare or major upheaval, and it’s the beginning of a whole new chapter. It’s visible to all who come in contact with them; we’re drawn to them like bees to honey. We want what they have.
The playing field doesn’t much matter when we’re talking about self-discovery. All aspects of our lives – our careers, our big relationships, our creativity, our physical health – provide incredible landscapes within which to investigate our inner worlds and our ongoing transformation. And the work we do in one realm feeds the others.
For my client, and for all of us, the most beautiful thing is what happens after the Yes. Because of what got her there, the starting place is so rock solid that there’s no chance of her losing her footing. She’s firmly rooted in her truth and it gives her plenty of room to explore.
She grows stronger as she places one foot in front of the other. She takes risks, aware that her missteps will help show her the way both in terms of what doesn’t work and what does. She finds allies who are more than willing to support her, and partners who want what she now has to offer. She is drawn forward, rather than pushing herself from behind.
This is inside-out change; the kind that lasts. And it all begins with the whisper of yes.