In my coaching work, I use the metaphor of an unfurling fern to help my clients see how to participate in bringing themselves more fully, joyfully and authentically alive.  In the context of this metaphor, the act of unfurling is catalyzed by a message of “yes!” from within oneself.  We know deep down when to begin.  Once ignited, the unfurling moves ahead through a combination of the inner plan already in place plus the energy we find when we tune in to what we’re here to do.  In other words, your unfurling is you evolving from one state to another, exquisitely shaped by your calling.

Like unfurling ferns, I see us as seamlessly integrating what happens inside with the world around us.  As we grow, we shift and change shape.  We are called forth.  And the world around us has an influence on just how we make the transition to fully upright.

But there’s another interpretation of unfurling, and today’s interview is all about that.

Unfurling is also a term used by sailors to describe the setting of a sail so that a boat can be carried by it.  Sailors unfurl sails when the wind is right and the plan is to get somewhere in a hurry.

Bridget Pilloud is a sailor.  And her unfurling reflects her understanding of how to unfurl a sail.

According to Bridget, unfurling is a rush of activity done out of the wind, and sets the boat up to move.  Fast. You don’t unfurl a sail and wait around for something to happen.  You unfurl and then bam! you’re off.

So when I asked her what’s unfurling, Bridget told me it’s about prosperity.  And she clarified, “I’m at a place where I’m ready to move forward with momentum.”

There’s no sign of doubt in this conversation.  Or hesitation, or as-yet-unformed thought.  This unfurling is all about forward motion.

Bridget has been cooking what’s unfurling in her for two years, and the cake is ready to come out of the oven.  She’s unfurling what it means to be in a state where needs are met and desires are taken care of and we can be in purpose.  True prosperity.

As I listened to the words come tumbling out of her, I saw the difference between this unfurling and others I have witnessed.  Bridget is ablaze with energy and tapped into intuition and moving fast.  It’s easy to imagine her at the helm, eyes scanning the horizon and body in tune with the wind and the water.

What I find so beautiful about Bridget’s unfurling is her willingness to be both vulnerable and compelled to take action now.  The work on prosperity she has done on her own, that she’s now beginning to do with others, is profound.  Like many of us, she has an uneasy history with prosperity (which goes well beyond money!), and she recognizes that monetary patterns reflect other patterns that don’t serve us.  She’s overflowing with eagerness to share teachings from within this rich realm.

Pun intended.

Have a listen here and tell us in the comments how the conversation around prosperity lands with you.  What do you want to know about your own relationship with money?  With time?  With emotion?

About Bridget

Bridget Pilloud is a writer, speaker, teacher and guide. She started writing about the human experience at the Intuitive Bridge in 2009.

Working worldwide, Bridget applies intuition and critical thinking to the issues and opportunities that her clients face. She empowers people to use their authentic gifts to enact positive changes in their personal and professional lives. She mentors spiritual business owners, and teaches about intuition, energetic flow, behavior modification and prosperity.

Bridget lives in Portland, Oregon with her partner, two children, three dogs, two cats and three chickens. She loves to sail and camp with her family.

Others in the Unfurling Series

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The problem is always the same: understanding the value you bring to the world. Whether in terms of money, marketing, product development, brand positioning, or personal development, the problem is always the same.

I love how each of these unfurling interviews highlights the particular flavor and individual brilliance of the interviewee.  So far in the series we’ve sampled a range of personalities from sassy to soulful.  And each unfurling behaves according to its owner.

Tara Gentile is pop and sizzle.  I’d say her unfurling carries within it the essence of a just-corked bottle of champagne.

Tara is an online entrepreneur and her business philosophy is beautifully in sync with the notion of unfurling.  Her simple mantra is :  Don’t be afraid to get it wrong.

Get out there.  Experiment.  Tinker.  This is how good ideas become great ones.  This is how people and businesses and society evolve.

Yes.

Unfurling is part nature, part nurture.  You orient yourself in the direction you are called toward, and listen carefully for clues both internally and from your environment.  Then the fun begins.

Like Tara says in this interview, put stuff out there before its ready.

And though she happens to be in the online entrepreneur space, this advice is for all of us to apply wherever we’d like.  Test out an evolving plotline with your friends.  See what it’s like to invite your family to participate in a different kind of Sunday outing, one that encourages new ways of being together.  Get some paint on the canvas.  Start a conversation.

Why?  Because of the delicious opportunity that will present itself to you when you open yourself in this way : allies will show up to guide and assist you.  You, and whatever it is that’s unfurling in you, participate in a co-creative process that has countless possibilities.  Not knowing the end result is the key to inviting brilliance to the table.  And to setting the stage for outcomes beyond your imagination.

So what’s Tara unfurling right now?  She’s unfurling her potential.  In fact, she’s always looking for the edge of her potential and how to unfurl into that.  She is “…stepping fully into who I am, who I’ve been, and who I’m becoming.  I want people to thank me for being Me.“

Tara tells us that she picked up this last bit on being thanked for being herself from Danielle LaPorte in an interview they did a few weeks ago.  I think this is what we all want.  Don’t you?

We want to be aware of our potential and to orient ourselves in its general direction.  And then we want to allow our allies and co-conspirators to aid us in unfurling.  We open ourselves to the beauty and richness of collaboration.  We become ourselves, and it is absolutely something others will thank us for.

Have a listen here, and think about what processes are underway in your life that you’re keeping under wraps.  Are you willing to allow some outside influence to cross-pollinate what you’re cooking up?  What opens up when you extend your invitation to the world around you?

 Unfurling with Tara Gentile

About Tara

“I work with passion-driven entrepreneurs to actualize their ideas, visions, and dreams – turning them into dollars and cents. I bring creative planning to branding, product development, and marketing that incorporates both strategy and high-touch design. Through collaborative coaching, my clients and I work towards mutual success.

I speak on making money beautifully, the New Economy, meaning marketing, and social media at conferences, retreats, and other live events.”

Find Tara here.

Others in the Unfurling Series

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I believe that you, like me, are becoming ever truer to yourself. Isn’t this why we so long to create meaningful work we love? Isn’t this what we as women do naturally given the intention and space – become more ourselves? And in our work, that core part of us is what nourishes our gifts and contributions in service to others.

It is through science that we prove, but through intuition that we discover.  ~Henri Poincare

What’s your relationship with your intuition?  We all have it, and have all experienced the effect it has on us when it makes itself known.  Yet most of us don’t actively cultivate it or rely upon it as a sixth sense to guide us in our lives.  We notice it with wonder, grateful (and maybe a bit baffled) when it shows itself to be wise and accurate.  Once again.

What if you welcomed your intuition as a trusted ally?  What if your decisions and thought processes were informed not only by your head, but also included the wisdom of your gut?  How might that change things in your life?

Lynn Baldwin-Rhoades has been paying close attention to her intuition and really appreciating the impact its having.  She’s unfurling a more conscious, resourceful and balanced version of herself, both professionally and personally.

And it’s changing the shape of her business.

The evolution of an unfurling

When she founded Power Chicks International, Lynn wanted to create a network of women entrepreneurs who would come together around growing their businesses.  Thousands of women joined, enthusiastically cheering each other on and sharing tips and resources about successful business practices.

Power Chicks blossomed into a thriving hub.

Lynn thrived on supporting her community but over time, realized she wanted more for them – and for herself. She dug deep into her own journey of growth and the more she expanded, the more distanced she felt from her original vision for Power Chicks.

Online, she was a cheerleader, full of exclamatory hype. Inside, she longed to connect women with what she herself was discovering – that true community is marked by celebrating and sharing vulnerability, compassion and self-awareness.

The disconnect was too much, and she nearly shut down what she’d created.

She decided that she couldn’t continue to lead Power Chicks in the way she’d been doing, and went looking for a new vision. An unfurling was underway, and there was no stopping it.

Her greatest guide in this process?  Yup, her intuition.

Lynn is unfurling more fully into her intuitive and heart-centered self.   She has said no to what didn’t feel truthful: focusing solely on helping women entrepreneurs be successful.  She’s shifting her role within the Power Chicks community: what she wants now is to “create space” and support for women in business who long to bring their true, genuine, vulnerable selves into their work and lives.

As you’ll notice in this interview, the proof of Lynn’s unfurling is a noticeable ease within herself. 

And as she says, I’m becoming more myself.

It’s beautiful to see.

Unfurling with Lynn Baldwin-Rhoades

About Lynn

You don’t need more training, more study, more stuff.  No more penance.  Nothing to fix.  No points to earn.

Here.  Now.  This.

Let it in.

 
I’m a dancer.  When I’m puzzling something out, I find music to move to, then play it again and again while I make shapes with my body.  Eventually the shape of a doorway comes to me, and I enter.  Through this doorway I find clues for my puzzle, and voila, a path appears.

Dance is my muse and my medium.

Just like you, I dance what’s unfurling in me.  And each of our unfurlings has its own dance style.  Some are slow and languorous, graceful and understated.  Some are deliberate, precise, angular.  There may be a phrase that keeps repeating itself, a movement we do again and again.  Occasionally the unfurling hurls itself into motion like its in a mosh pit.

The act of unfurling is a dance.  And each dance is unique.

When I learned how Amy Oscar is unfurling, I imagined it as a devotional dance.  I saw spirals, and figure eights, and flowing silk.  I heard tabla drums and Spanish guitar.  I was mesmerized by the movement and the energy it created.

Amy’s unfurling is about fierce faith, devotion and true love.  

The power she’s unleashing in this unfurling undoubtedly helps Amy in her role as an intuitive, a soul caller, a third generation ‘seer’ with a gift for imagery.  As she says in her bio : I do not see the falling-apart world that others see. I see a world turning its gaze to the light. I see my part in this story – and I can help you to discover yours. 

Read her words here, and be inspired to notice what wants to unfurl in you too.  Is there a dance invitation you haven’t yet accepted?

Amy, what’s unfurling in you right now?

Fierce faith; totally unswerving.
It’s just there, a solid connection to a core of certainty that lives at the center of the body/mind/spirit organism I know as ‘me’.

Devotion. Hard Work. Commitment.
Three things very new to me have suddenly arrived and with them, courage, clarity and contentment.

True love.
Each time I think that I have dropped as deeply into love as it is possible to drop, I drop again – more deeply, more fully. It’s as if there is an infinitely expandable shell or membrane surrounding ‘me’ and it just keeps getting wider and I keep seeing and feeling more love (and more light).

Who (or what) are your allies as you unfurl in this way?

1) God. Seriously. God and all of God’s helpful fairies and angels and glittery bits.
2) My clients and students are the greatest gurus I have ever known. Their stories, shared so honestly, so vulnerably teach me more than any book or seminar ever has.

How do you get out of your own way?

Whenever I catch myself standing in my own way, I find that I am, doing one of three things:

1. standing in a story about my powerlessness
2. standing in a story about my ‘not-enoughness’
3. pushing myself too hard

When the awareness that I am doing one of these things comes, I separate from the story and watch it for a little while – I watch my mind yammering on and on about 1) how some other person is better than me, more qualified, more beautiful, more special; or, 2) how some circumstance is in charge of my choices; 3) how I have to keep working harder and harder because I am ‘behind’

Once I’ve gotten the general gist of which story I’m in, I can change the channel – literally. I do this by turning my gaze outward.

1) I look at the person before me – the person who seems to be better then me – and I just let myself love them. I just love them – with all of my heart. I stop competing; I stop envying; and I open to the beautiful being who is there.

2) I ask myself, What would love do here? And, instantly, I reestablish connection with my power and know what to do.

3) I go to sleep. Sleep is my miracle drug. Lately, with the expansion of the Soul Caller Training and my Spiritual Direction practice, I’ve been working REALLY hard – and needing to take little naps. My body just shuts down and tells me to hit the couch. So I do. And it completely renews me.

What’s the soundtrack of your unfurling?

The click of my keyboard; the scratching of my pen on a page of my sketchbook

I listen to podcasts while I make dinner. My favorites right now are RadioLab; and, On Being; and, This American Life; and recently, my sister sent me a series of talks from David Whyte, reading his incredible poetry.

I am addicted to TED.com. Such brilliance!

I love to listen to Gangaji, Byron Katie and Abraham-Hicks work with audiences.

I listen to Eckhart Tolle and Caroline Myss and Wayne Dyer in the car.

I dance to Krishna Das and do yoga to Wyndham Hill piano music.

Lately, I’ve been loving my daughter’s iTunes library which she loaded onto my laptop last fall. (New Pornographers, The Weepies, Iron and Wine… )

Finally, there is always the music of the angels in my ears. A kind of singing that is both vibrational and orchestral. This started more than five years ago when I began reading angel stories (I’m the editor of Doreen Virtue’s magazine column). The sound, like an orchestra of crickets and bees, is completely different from the sound of tinnitus. It never annoys me – when I need silence, I simply ask the angels to turn down the volume. And they do.

Who are you becoming?

Me – without the veils.

_________________________________

About Amy

Amy Oscar offers one-on-one Spiritual Direction and group classes. She is the author of Sea of Miracles and The Soul Caller Training. Find her on Facebook or Twitter, where she moderates #SoulCall, a conversation about living a spiritual life in a material world.

Others in the Unfurling Series

Sometimes an unfurling is catalyzed by a particularly poignant event in our lives, the type that demands we stop everything and give it our full attention.  When we give ourselves permission to step away from daily distractions in order to deal with the immediacy of one of life’s major events, we also enable ourselves to be dislodged from what has kept us coiled up.  Crisis can be a doorway to unfurling.

For Anna Guest-Jelley, the kickstart for her unfurling came in the form of her dad passing away six months ago.

This sort of thing can send us in many directions.  Anna is finding that it has unleashed in her a whole new understanding of what it is to be present to all that is happening in her busy life.  Rather than turning inward to grieve and putting herself on “pause”, Anna is unfurling : she’s unfurling as a yoga teacher, a business owner and a woman.

This is the silver lining to this sad event, for sure.

Anna’s unfurling is about feeling good, and following that.  It’s a deepening of this newfound commitment to staying present that has intensified since her dad’s passing.

That’s right, following what feels good.  This is not an easy thing for many of us.  It seems it should be, and yet for many of us we ignore, we resist, we disbelieve that following what feels good will lead us toward a more fulfilling life.  Debauchery maybe, not transformation!  And yet as Anna talks about in this interview, she’s learning that focusing on what feels good is helping her unfurl further and root herself more firmly.

This is the embodiment of Anna’s life work, Curvy Yoga.  She’s on a mission to help all of us, regardless of size or shape or ability, to live IN our bodies, “…so that we can find, connect with and live from our root truth — all while leaning into the process and practice of loving our bodies.”  

I hope you’ll check out her website and download the most beautiful collection of 36 personal stories about yoga and body image from people all over the world.

About Anna

Anna Guest-Jelley, RYT500, is the Founder of Curvy Yoga, where she writes and teaches about yoga and embodiment as the foundations of a life well-lived (and body well-loved). She is also the Editor of Curvy Voices, a compilation of 36 personal stories about yoga and body image from people all over the world, available free on her website. Connect with her on Facebook and Twitter.

Others in the Unfurling Series

Molly Mahar.  Tanya Geisler.  Rachel Cole.  Amanda Farough.  Dyana Valentine.  Andrea Olson.  Julie Daley.  Ronna Detrick.  Jennifer Louden.  Kate Courageous.

10 women dishing on their delicious, sometimes-thorny, fascinating versions of unfurling.  10 perspectives on what it is to look closely at that thing you’ve been cocooning until now.  That thing that’s finally coming out and into the world.

Have you been liking these interviews as much as I have? What a delight its been to share time with these incredible women, to watch them on the screen as they listen for answers, try on new possibilities, and reflect on what’s true for them right now.

Their answers help me better understand what it is to unfurl.

Unfurling is a metaphor that challenges you to find yourself as you are, today, and to orient yourself toward what’s calling you forth. It’s not about “should”, or “one day”, or logic. It helps you get clear about what is most alive for you right now. It also reminds you that while some growth is easy and doesn’t need much tending, there are also new shoots you’ll want to nurture.

The most beautiful discovery I made in listening to the interviews here is that the way you are unfurling is organic, pure and true. It’s also unstoppable, no matter how hard you try.

Being in relationship with your unfurling is an exquisite way to be kind to yourself. However you see yourself with regard to it – companion, co-conspirator, mother, ally, friend – the relationship you cultivate with your unfurling is a canvas on which to paint directly from the heart. No holds barred.

So here are some highlights and truth bombs from the series I want to share with you.

:: What’s unfurling may be shy or unapproachable at first. There are unfurlings that move away when we get close to them, not yet ready to join hands with us. These are the parts of ourselves that make themselves known only when they have reached a certain level of maturity.

These unfurlings need time and space and plenty of loving to bring them alive. They are trustworthy, even if they are elusive.

:: An important stage of unfurling is discomfort. For Tanya, being-here-ness is hard-won. Even though she’s a willing student, she’s working really, really hard and still, sometimes, falling short. This is okay. This is necessary.

:: We get in our own way again and again as we unfurl, and it doesn’t derail the whole shebang. We just learn how to get out of the way. Again and again. We’re amazing in our ability to do this in creative and resourceful ways.

:: Simply identifying what’s unfurling in us sets a journey in motion. When we notice it, we then catalyze the chain of events that represent its growth. This is a not-to-be-missed opportunity for learning.

:: The question “Who am I becoming?” is potent. It inspires a birds-eye view not only of what’s unfurling, but of how it fits in the larger framework of our lives. From asking ourselves this question, we tend to revisit dusty corners and rearrange furniture to fit this new version of ourselves.

The interview series will continue with a fresh crop of voices and experiences in the coming weeks. Please let me know if you’d like to be included; I’d love to feature you.

Or if you’d rather not wait, just use the comments below to tell us:  What’s unfurling in YOU?

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I have a sneaking suspicion that a world of fulfilled joyful women equals radical acts of goodness, widespread emotional and physical health, creative expression, equality, and core level compassion.

Molly Mahar is unfurling again.  And while the others were big, this one is huge.

She’s about to become a mama.

Molly is the whiz wonder behind Stratejoy.com, an online community and oasis for Generation Y women.  She offers programs and products to help her gals navigate the quarter-life crisis many of them face as they enter their thirties, and she has a loyal and committed following.  Molly calls herself  “… a fierce love advocate and joy enthusiast, empowering women to live life on their own terms by valuing their worth and happiness.”

Like the vibe on Stratejoy.com, Molly is refreshingly upbeat, but not rah-rah.  She is book-smart AND intuitive, and she knows of what she speaks : she left an unsatisfying career in her mid-twenties to do her soul work.  She never looked back.  She wants the same for you.

And totally in character with who she is, Molly’s unfurling is fresh, hopeful and unwavering.  She’s fueled by trust.  She’s sure of where she’s going, even if she doesn’t know how she’s going to get there. 

Have a listen to our chat, and please share what it brings up for you in the comments below!

Enjoyed this interview?  Check out others in the series.
 

The Unfurling Interviews

Tanya Geisler

Rachel Cole

Amanda Farough

Dyana Valentine

Andrea Olson

Julie Daley

Ronna Detrick

Jennifer Louden

Kate Courageous

As we all learned in the first grade when we planted sunflower seeds in Dixie cups, plants thrive when their optimal growing conditions are met : when they have enough sun, shade, nutrients, water and space to grow. 

Imagine a grove of succulent ferns.  Or a meadow of clover and wildflowers.  These plants live in ideal growing environments.  They unfurl from tiny seedling to fully upright plant on their own time, in their own way.     

And then imagine a rooftop garden.  The collection of pots you filled with orphaned plants picked up at the nursery.  Without your help, these plants don’t stand a chance.  You, the gardener, will determine whether they grow or they wither.

In the same way, we act as caretakers for what’s unfurling in us.  Sometimes we unfurl like those ferns in the misty grove … unimpeded, needing very little assistance.  But if we aren’t in a supportive growing environment, we need to be our own gardeners.  It’s on us to nurture and encourage our own unfurling by making sure its optimal growing conditions are met.

Stages of growth

Just for fun, imagine yourself to be a fern.  For those of you unfamiliar with this plant, a fern has a yearly cycle that starts with a collection of fiddleheads – tightly coiled up spirals – nestled together at its base.  Around these fiddleheads are fronds from last year, some dried up and falling over, and some still vibrant and strong.

Slowly the fiddleheads uncoil until the whole plant is a collection of fully upright fronds.  This takes a few months.  It’s an amazing process.

So if YOU are the fern, how can you caretake your own unfurling?  How can you nurture what needs nurturing, and step aside to allow nature to do its thing?

Growing tips for your unfurling:

• Notice which fronds are coiled up and green.  These bits of you are cocooning right now; they’re not ready for the light of day.  Send them love.  Be sure they aren’t weighed down by wishes that they’d hurry up already.  Allow them the time they need for rest, incubation, the cooking of ideas.  This is a vital and fertile stage.  Appreciate it as such, and give it the quiet it needs to gather strength.

• There are some unfurling fronds you’ll want to give some extra attention.  These are the ones that have dead branches on top of them and are growing sideways as a result.  They are in their own way.  See how you can help.  Remove stuff that holds them back : fear, “should’s”, old stories about yourself that aren’t true, limiting beliefs.  Work to keep the pathway clear so these bits can wiggle themselves upright, even if it happens in fits and starts.  Even if there are long pauses.  They want to free themselves.  They will.

• Celebrate the fronds that are growing well.  Be a cheerleader for this healthy growth.  And remind them it’s not a sprint; they aren’t on a deadline.  Smile at their enthusiasm.  Appreciate the ease you experience as a result of these unfurlings.

• Show your respect and reverence for the ones who are fully upright.  Notice what’s inherent in the way they occupy space.  Be aware of the vantage point of the upright fern; it’s the endpoint of a long journey.  Ask them to share wisdom they learned along the way.

We all unfurl various aspects of ourselves again and again.  We unfurl to allow ourselves the opportunity to live with integrity; it’s a chance for us to find alignment.  It’s the exquisite dance of coming into ourselves, and we all know the choreography. 

What’s unfurling in you?  What do you know about the life cycle of your unfurling?  How do you get out of your own way?

Please share in the comments.  I’d love to hear about the dance of YOUR unfurling.

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  Live it up. Light it up. Shine.

  Star.

Tanya Geisler.

Words to describe her: Irreverent.  Delightful.  Delighted.  Intuitive.  Catalytic.  Funny as hell.  Self-aware.  Gorgeous.

What she does:  Helps others find their Thing.  Revels in the joy of doing same.

In her past: An outwardly successful and ultimately unsatisfying career in advertising.

Newly discovered fact about her: her grandmother, and mine, shared the name Mildred J.

Her mantra: Don’t postpone joy.

Tanya’s unfurling is all about presence.  Also known as being here-ness.  And her unfurling is ongoing.  As you’ll see in this interview, Tanya is exploring what it’s like to lean into the edge of what calls her, even though it brings up discomfort.  (The soundtrack to her unfurling is the cacaphony of crickets — screeching, relentless, keeping her coming back to Being Here again and again.)  She’s a willing student, and she’s calling on support to stay the course as she unfurls.

I hope Tanya’s heartfelt sharing helps you see how we unfurl in different ways.   Think about your own unfurlings for a moment: some seem to have been synchronized and effortless,  and others required steering to keep you on the road.  Tanya reminds us that the deliciousness of an unfurling reveals itself to us not just at the end, but along the way.

 Unfurling : The Series

Tanya Geisler

(Special note: Tanya mentioned a Roots of She post she wrote about her beloved grandma Mildred.  Here it is.)

About Tanya

In her own words:

That journey – the journey to embrace joy and live your juiciest, most joyous life – has lit me up, personally and professionally. I know with radiant certainty what I’m here to do:

• Bring clarity to your life, business and career.
• Inspire BIG CHANGE and empower you to achieve it.
• Encourage you (and the whole wide world!) to practice joy

To do that – and help you do that, too – I’ve developed an engaging, effective one-on-one coaching practice, a suite of targeted workshops, and inventive programs like Board of Your Life.

Learn more.

 
Enjoyed this interview?  Check out others in the series.

The Unfurling Interviews

Rachel Cole

Amanda Farough

Dyana Valentine

Andrea Olson

Julie Daley

Ronna Detrick

Jennifer Louden

Kate Courageous

“So it’s clear what you don’t want in this situation.  What DO you want?” my alter ego coach asked me.

I squirmed.  I coughed.  I mentally reviewed the landscape.  I looked out the window.

“I have no idea,” I finally admitted.

Ah, yes.  The messy, soupy place of not knowing.  The vagueness, the restlessness, the wondering and wandering that sets in when we are in a place of uncertainty.

Been here before?

Whatever the domain – relationship, career, creativity, spirituality – when we want to create change, but we can’t yet name what it is we want, we find ourselves in an uncomfortable state of suspended animation.  We’re aware of what’s not okay, yet don’t know what we want instead.

Welcome to the swamp of uncertainty.

Part of the cycle

Uncertainty is painful and disorienting.  There are no familiar guideposts.  Even if answers were provided to us, when we’re squarely in the place of uncertainty we’re unable to decipher clues to lead us out of the swamp and onto dry land.

And yet there’s something available in that place of uncertainty that is precious, creative and powerful.  There’s a richness and openness to living the questions that becomes off-limits once clarity has arrived and decisions have been made.  Hard as it is to be uncertain, it’s an incubator for brilliance.

Brilliance that might go otherwise overlooked.  Brilliance that, for a period of time, is mired in muck.

Uncertainty is central to the creative change process.  We have to swim around in the muck in order to get to the shore.  We can’t bypass it.

The good news is that there’s a deepening and a growing that happens in “living the questions”; a natural part of the cycle.  Holding space for answers to arrive is you sitting patiently with your open heart.  This is a hard practice for sure.  It requires trust, self-love and a willingness to be present to whatever arises.  And to refrain from forcing action before its time.

Our nature is to squirm away from this place of discomfort and to dive onto solid ground as quickly as possible.  Unfortunately, this tactic is like firing in the dark.  We miss the target as often as we hit it.

When we stay in that place of not-knowing for as long as it takes to move through it, we gift ourselves with greater self-knowing and a renewed sense of authenticity.

Asking for what you want

The only way out of uncertainty is by going in.  Diving deep.  And the question that serves as your faithful guide on this journey is dead simple.  What Do I Want?  As in, what’s missing?  What am I here to learn?  What lights me up from within?

What do I really, truly want?

Sometimes it’s painfully hard to name what we want.  Maybe we’re simply out of practice, having put the needs of others before our own for too long.  Or we know, but are afraid to own it just yet.  Or deep down we don’t feel worthy of asking for it.

If you can’t name what it is that you want, you’ll be swimming in the muck for a long time.

Here are five tips to getting clear on what you want

1.  Frame the question with love

Ask the question What do I want? in a way that invites your true self to answer.  Ask with kindness and respect.   Hold the question close, but don’t smother it with demands.

2.  Don’t be duped by a false answer

Be on the alert for a quick fix, rather than a true answer.  Don’t reach for the ice-cream when it’s sweetness of something deeper you are craving.  Be mindful of your willingness to substitute something superficial for the real deal.  You won’t be satisfied with the fake one.

3.  Notice if your inner critic edits the question

There may be background noise when you ask this powerful question.  If you are bombarded with thoughts like “What a ridiculous thing to want!” or “Who are you to want that?” your inner critic has joined the party.  Politely ask her/him to leave.  Your inner critic does not appreciate you wanting what enables you to soar.

4.  Give yourself permission to want it

Don’t judge.  Even if it seems ludicrous to want at this point in time, allow yourself to want it if it’s knocking at your window.  There’s wisdom in the thing showing up at this time.

5.  Give yourself over to the question itself

Allow it to devour your heart.  Follow its lead, even if it means wandering in what feels like circles.  Let it take you where it will, because the answer to What do I want? will always lead you home.

Over to you:  What do you know about the swamp of uncertainty?  How do you find your way out?  

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